What can go wrong now?

Why does it take people forever when you are in desparate need of some mental help? "We don't have any openings in our schedule for pro-bono psych help for four to six months." I can not keep it together for that time. "It's late on Friday afternoon. If you go to ER, they can get you admitted into an inpatient program." What part of I have Naruto and Elmo to take care of do they not understand? I can't wait forever but I finally got someone to say that they will see what they can do on Monday. I just have to survive until then. The meds that the semi-free clinic gave me but they aren't any good. Taken them. Did nothing. Can't afford them so I quit taking them.

Meanwhile, I'm yelling at Elmo cause I can't hang up the phone on a "crisis" place. Did you know that you can only have crises between 9am and 11 am and then between 1pm and 3pm on M-F? Elmo wants pancakes, which I have frozen in the freezer but I can't make pancakes and talk on the phone at the same time. So someone at this stupid crisis places calls CPS.

My living room has food open all around it, thanks to Naruto. He is busy eating peanut butter with a pair of scissors that were put up two weeks ago because he has the right to cut anything then he decides he can eat the peanut butter with his fingers. I gave him a spoon. Now I have CPS out here during all of this. Naruto thinks he is the person who is the boss of this family. The drug addict who used to be a part of the family really did a number on me, Naruto and Elmo. Naruto doesn't understand that he shouldn't cook. He doesn't understand that he needs to get me up to cook him a meal. He doesn't want to wait for me to cook him a meal. There is plenty of food for him to eat in fridge: boiled eggs, bread, butter, cheese. Nope, he wants what he can't have. He climbs everywhere to get it. Now I'm missing part of a bar stool that I had in my room (it needs parts) with a fan on it.

The house has to get clean. I'm too depressed, honestly, to deal with it. My girlfriends at church are out on dates with spouses and don't understand the hell I've been in. I can't loose Naruto and Elmo again. They are the reason I get up in the morning. They are the reason that I have food in the house and clean clothes. I will be so lost without them again.

ALL I NEED IS SOMEONE TO GET OFF THEIR ASSES TO HELP ME GET THE PSYCH HELP I AM DESPARATE FOR. But it's too late to have a crisis. No one is there at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon to help someone who is in need of some help.

Maybe I can get into a place at Muskogee on Monday in the afternoon. Maybe someone at Prodigy can get off their butts and see what they can do to squeeze me in. I've only been asking for help for almost three weeks. I can't wait much longer. Maybe these meds I got from the semi-free clinic will help me until Monday. I can only hope.