Sunday Afternoon

Is it not time for school to start yet? Why do people love being around their kids (roughly the same ages as mine) while all I want to do is be away from them from time to time? I adore them but there are times I just honestly can't deal with them.

I got some good friends. My best friend said, "There is this woman at church. She deals with special needs kids all day long." The woman works like in a program where the next step for the kids is juvenile hall, so it's school but at the same time, it's more than that. I might be wrong about that but this is my understanding. The three of us stood around talking about the boys and me. She said, "You know what is wrong with you all. But because it's your kids, they don't want to listen to you. You have a good understanding about what you think your problem is and you have basically identified the problem. Now it's just a wait. I'll be over some time this week to spend an hour with you and the kids. Have you thought that maybe some of Elmo's problems might be food allergies?" I had Naruto allergy tested at Hastings but never heard back about it. But Elmo was not with me when we had that appointment or he would have been done as well. She also thought that maybe my stress hives are more food allergy related than to just stress. Stress could be part of the problem but it could be a small part of it. After Naruto was born, I was allergy tested and allergic to all the usual: dust, mold, etc. "But a lot of what we eat is mold. Did you know that there is a mold on foods as simple as grapes?" Now here comes the lack of money and insurance part: I have to wait to see where I can get tested for food allergies. But start a food diary to see if I can pinpoint times when the hives are at their worst with some of the foods that I eat a lot of.

Naruto and Elmo let me get a catnap today. I really needed to go to the gym but I had no energy for it. I have to go back on Monday. It's been three days since I went and I'm going to feel it tomorrow. But it has been months since I did anything so I can't hurt any worse than that. But Naruto found some of the hidden Naruto/Yuiguioh/Pokemon cards which I had hidden from him since I had to constantly pick them up. They did tear up the house but they had to pick it up. All I had to do was point and yell. I know yelling is not good but still, when you have no fuse, it's either yell or strangle. I've been avoiding the strangle thoughts. Naruto and Elmo are not that bad; they have been through the wringer over the past two plus years.

Podiatrist said that I was going to have a year with them. She was so right. She should know. She lives with two auties herself (and probably her husband the podiatrist as well is autistic). I really have good friends: The World's Best Mom, the Podiatrist, the Sped Teacher, the Sweetest Grandma who adopted us. I do not know how I managed to survive in a world of hell that the Drug Addict forced me to live in without friends.

Naruto and Elmo need me and I have a sink full of dishes waiting on me to deal with. I hate dishes. I hate housework. I made a bowl of soup today with nothing but veggies out of cans. I washed them off like the podiatrist told me before putting them in a bowl. No meat so it didn't have to be cooked.