Getting things done

School has started again. I'm not sure about Elmo's teacher, but I'm just glad that they are out of the house. I love the hours: 0700 to 1500. I have an idea about when they will be coming and going. I just hate the fight about the bus. I wish that they would trust me when it comes to the kids. Elmo hates loud sounds. If he had the mental abilities of a 4 year old, then he could ride the 4 year old bus; but he's got the abilities of a 2 year old. I do not always think that he will be that far behind but for now, that is where he is. Naruto, on the other hand, will always be behind, inspite of his big vocabulary without actually knowing what they mean. He used the word "humiliate" with Dr J correctly but he had no idea what it meant, thanks to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

Now it's almost 0200. The entire house is up. Naruto is roaming the house in the middle of the night. He's had six hours of sleep, plus or minus. Elmo is on the couch. I'm up to make sure that Naruto stays in bed. I went to bed early, missing Full Metal Alchemist, but if I'm sleeping in my chair, then it's bedtime. If Naruto would slow down, he'd be asleep with the help of benedryl that I gave him. I hate using it to help him sleep but he's not relaxing, then he won't sleep.

I got some more packing done today. I brought another milk carton home from bro's house and so I added it to one of the stacks. Naruto had peeled off the hot glue that had been keeping it together so I had to put it all back together. I packed two boxes of cereal, two boxes of noodles, instant foods...where on earth did I get so much food? I know, WIC and the food commodities.

When are my checks coming in? The SSA dude from Muskogee called me last Tuesday and said that Naruto's check should be on its way. Ten days later, I have no check. I have no money. I took care of the unemployment problem on Tuesday. I hope to have a check in my hand today. It's not as big as the SSA one but in a house where we have exactly $2 and some change, it will be a big help. Now I can pay the boys' life insurance. How much longer do I have until the policies are bought? I think that I've had them both four years; they are mine/boys' after ten years. It sucks being poor. It sucks raw eggs, but I have the boys. They drive me nuts, but still, I have my boys.

I got to talk to BF today about everything. She said that Elmo's mental age is finally starting to mimic a 2 year old. She also said that since I didn't have a normal childhood in a safe environment that I honestly do not know how a 2 year old is supposed to act. I guess she's right in a way. My parents are not normal. I couldn't pitch fits. I couldn't argue. I had to be quiet. I spent my entire childhood avoiding the beatings and reading. I guess that is why I retreated into books and was an avid reader. She said that her kids do the same thing. That made me feel better. Even Naruto's reaction to being in trouble is normal. She told me that she used to write her mom hate notes after getting in trouble. I wasn't allowed to do that. I would get into more trouble if I had squeaked.

Life here is complicated. There is no money to do anything, not even buy more bubbles after Elmo decided that he needed an entire bottle in his bath, not what was put in. If we run out of milk, we are screwed. They won't drink the powdered milk or the evaporated milk. I'm just keeping the faith and trusting in Hashem. He has always come through for me. It is just so hard at times.

Naruto is still up. He is moving in his room. He will be in his bed until I allow him up. I have enough sleep to survive. I should be doing something productive instead of sitting behind the computer. I have to get Naruto some clean shorts for tomorrow. He's got some but I don't like them. Older stuff but they will do in a pinch.