School has started again. I'm not sure about Elmo's teacher, but I'm just glad that they are out of the house. I love the hours: 0700 to 1500. I have an idea about when they will be coming and going. I just hate the fight about the bus. I wish that they would trust me when it comes to the kids. Elmo hates loud sounds. If he had the mental abilities of a 4 year old, then he could ride the 4 year old bus; but he's got the abilities of a 2 year old. I do not always think that he will be that far behind but for now, that is where he is. Naruto, on the other hand, will always be behind, inspite of his big vocabulary without actually knowing what they mean. He used the word "humiliate" with Dr J correctly but he had no idea what it meant, thanks to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Now it's almost 0200. The entire house is up. Naruto is roaming the house in the middle of the night. He's had six hours of sleep, plus or minus. Elmo is on the couch. I'm up to make sure that Naruto stays in bed. I went to bed early, missing Full Metal Alchemist, but if I'm sleeping in my chair, then it's bedtime. If Naruto would slow down, he'd be asleep with the help of benedryl that I gave him. I hate using it to help him sleep but he's not relaxing, then he won't sleep.
I got some more packing done today. I brought another milk carton home from bro's house and so I added it to one of the stacks. Naruto had peeled off the hot glue that had been keeping it together so I had to put it all back together. I packed two boxes of cereal, two boxes of noodles, instant foods...where on earth did I get so much food? I know, WIC and the food commodities.
When are my checks coming in? The SSA dude from Muskogee called me last Tuesday and said that Naruto's check should be on its way. Ten days later, I have no check. I have no money. I took care of the unemployment problem on Tuesday. I hope to have a check in my hand today. It's not as big as the SSA one but in a house where we have exactly $2 and some change, it will be a big help. Now I can pay the boys' life insurance. How much longer do I have until the policies are bought? I think that I've had them both four years; they are mine/boys' after ten years. It sucks being poor. It sucks raw eggs, but I have the boys. They drive me nuts, but still, I have my boys.
I got to talk to BF today about everything. She said that Elmo's mental age is finally starting to mimic a 2 year old. She also said that since I didn't have a normal childhood in a safe environment that I honestly do not know how a 2 year old is supposed to act. I guess she's right in a way. My parents are not normal. I couldn't pitch fits. I couldn't argue. I had to be quiet. I spent my entire childhood avoiding the beatings and reading. I guess that is why I retreated into books and was an avid reader. She said that her kids do the same thing. That made me feel better. Even Naruto's reaction to being in trouble is normal. She told me that she used to write her mom hate notes after getting in trouble. I wasn't allowed to do that. I would get into more trouble if I had squeaked.
Life here is complicated. There is no money to do anything, not even buy more bubbles after Elmo decided that he needed an entire bottle in his bath, not what was put in. If we run out of milk, we are screwed. They won't drink the powdered milk or the evaporated milk. I'm just keeping the faith and trusting in Hashem. He has always come through for me. It is just so hard at times.
Naruto is still up. He is moving in his room. He will be in his bed until I allow him up. I have enough sleep to survive. I should be doing something productive instead of sitting behind the computer. I have to get Naruto some clean shorts for tomorrow. He's got some but I don't like them. Older stuff but they will do in a pinch.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Catching Up
Well, it's been a time. I spent the past weekend and Monday at my bro's house. SIL drove me mad. Aharon didn't help either. On Sunday, the kids all took naps. She was doing the laundry. Bro and I were outside, taking care of stuff that he had been putting off for some time. She can't help him...more like won't help him. I went in a couple of times. One time, she was sprawled on the bed, talking on her phone. The next time, she was sound asleep. Bro said that he got a lot done but not all of what he was hoping to get done. They had an argument as SIL was sweeping the floor where Elmo had spilt some really sweet (made me sick) Koolaid. They went off to argue so I finished the sweeping and then the mopping. I had gotten very little sleep. So around midnight/0100, I went to bed. Bro was going to the store to get some stuff done and drop things off at the inlaws house. SIL decided that she just HAD to put up the clothes that could have been done earlier. I had to cover my face with a pillow so I could sleep. Naruto was horrible.
Prodigy is going to help get me the help I needed by stretching what the state will allow. The state allows them to have "time in counseling without patient" since how my moods/feelings affect me and in essence will affect them. They will do things like piggyback doctor appointments with the Naruto's. I was told today that Elmo needs medical help for his constant motion and his fighting with Naruto. He's perfect one-on-one, but toss Naruto into the mix, WW3 erupts. Same with Naruto. I got some meds to help me. Naruto had some meds changed. Let's hope they work.
SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to call an IEP meeting to have the boys riding the Handicapped bus written into their IEPs. "Understand that their disabilities are not bad enough to warrant them riding the H bus until they graduate." Well, once I can get Elmo over this fear of his, then maybe I can take him to school myself. It might take two years. It might take one year. It might take two months. There is no telling. I'm so excited as well. No kids for the day. I can get stuff done.
CPS came out on Tuesday and told me that they will probably close next month. Fine with me. They are not going to terminate DAD's rights to the kids since I have custody. That isn't what I want/need/desire. Well, I want him dead. He gave me two good things in my life: Naruto and Elmo, complete with problems. He won't even show up if he does what he did the last two times we were in court. I don't even know if he knows when it will be. But the kids will be totally mine.
I have to get up when the alarm goes off. I got more to say, especially about my lazy SIL. I love her but man, she uses Bro. I told Bro that it would be a while before I go back. I can't do it all when she's doing nothing. I got a short nap after getting very little sleep on Saturday. I hope he understands that this is about her, not him. I love them both, but I can't be a slave to SIL when I'm not a slave to Elmo and Naruto.
Prodigy is going to help get me the help I needed by stretching what the state will allow. The state allows them to have "time in counseling without patient" since how my moods/feelings affect me and in essence will affect them. They will do things like piggyback doctor appointments with the Naruto's. I was told today that Elmo needs medical help for his constant motion and his fighting with Naruto. He's perfect one-on-one, but toss Naruto into the mix, WW3 erupts. Same with Naruto. I got some meds to help me. Naruto had some meds changed. Let's hope they work.
SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to call an IEP meeting to have the boys riding the Handicapped bus written into their IEPs. "Understand that their disabilities are not bad enough to warrant them riding the H bus until they graduate." Well, once I can get Elmo over this fear of his, then maybe I can take him to school myself. It might take two years. It might take one year. It might take two months. There is no telling. I'm so excited as well. No kids for the day. I can get stuff done.
CPS came out on Tuesday and told me that they will probably close next month. Fine with me. They are not going to terminate DAD's rights to the kids since I have custody. That isn't what I want/need/desire. Well, I want him dead. He gave me two good things in my life: Naruto and Elmo, complete with problems. He won't even show up if he does what he did the last two times we were in court. I don't even know if he knows when it will be. But the kids will be totally mine.
I have to get up when the alarm goes off. I got more to say, especially about my lazy SIL. I love her but man, she uses Bro. I told Bro that it would be a while before I go back. I can't do it all when she's doing nothing. I got a short nap after getting very little sleep on Saturday. I hope he understands that this is about her, not him. I love them both, but I can't be a slave to SIL when I'm not a slave to Elmo and Naruto.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!
The SSA is about to send me the check for the money that they owe Naruto. I got a call today while I was sleeping (depressed). The man I talked to last week said that they are going to try and release that money in the next few days. Lots of people are watching to see that the money is relelased, not just me.
What is it about Naruto and his new clothes? He KNOWS he's not supposed to wear them but he wears them anyway. Today, he got ready for daycare. He was wearing his new Spiderman shirt (minus the tag which he had removed) and his Sunday pants. I didn't realize that he was wearing the Spidey shirt until he got to daycare when I turned the shirt around. I switched the shirt for a sweatshirt of mine I had in the car. THAT place doesn't seem to care. They have ruined some of his OLD clothes with paint that doesn't wash out. I don't mind those because I'm about to go through and trash a lot of his really old stuff. But it's the new stuff I can't have him destroying before school even starts. Do I have to start saucing him down to keep his fingers off his stuff and out of the offlimits room? That seems to be where I'm storing all the boxed up stuff.
I think that I'm not going to get my Cherokee Nation food next month until after we move, or right before. Emptying the freezer is going to be hell to get the moved freezer moved. The fruits, veggies, and juice can stay boxed, and I can get it on the last day that they are open and then turn around and get September's food on September 1 or 2. We have enough food to supply this family with MOST of the food we eat for three months. Since I have a bread machine, I can make bread. Milk would have to be bought.
I think I'm going to go to my brother's this weekend. He is busy trying to get a house on Brewer Street ready for SIL's mom and stepdad. They are pulling up the carpet. Don't ask me what they are going to replace it with but I do know they are removing the carpet. We don't have to be back in Tahlequah until 9:15 on Tuesday morning so we can return late on Monday night or as early as 9am on Tuesday morning, but I do not want to drive here starting around 5am. But I can do that.
Just nine more days until school starts. NINE MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I can stop fighting Naruto about his clothes. Doesn't he realize that Elmo has yet to get one NEW thing? This weekend is the taxfree weekend for school clothes. I can buy school clothes as early as 1201am and still go to brother's house on that day. I think I have a 2pm appointment but then I'll be out of Tahlequah. I need a break from here. I hope that Bro sends me a list of clothes that HorseLover and the Annoyer need so I can get them and take them with me.
What a day. It's not even 1pm. I've done nothing at all. I guess I need to get off my fat ass and get busy.
What is it about Naruto and his new clothes? He KNOWS he's not supposed to wear them but he wears them anyway. Today, he got ready for daycare. He was wearing his new Spiderman shirt (minus the tag which he had removed) and his Sunday pants. I didn't realize that he was wearing the Spidey shirt until he got to daycare when I turned the shirt around. I switched the shirt for a sweatshirt of mine I had in the car. THAT place doesn't seem to care. They have ruined some of his OLD clothes with paint that doesn't wash out. I don't mind those because I'm about to go through and trash a lot of his really old stuff. But it's the new stuff I can't have him destroying before school even starts. Do I have to start saucing him down to keep his fingers off his stuff and out of the offlimits room? That seems to be where I'm storing all the boxed up stuff.
I think that I'm not going to get my Cherokee Nation food next month until after we move, or right before. Emptying the freezer is going to be hell to get the moved freezer moved. The fruits, veggies, and juice can stay boxed, and I can get it on the last day that they are open and then turn around and get September's food on September 1 or 2. We have enough food to supply this family with MOST of the food we eat for three months. Since I have a bread machine, I can make bread. Milk would have to be bought.
I think I'm going to go to my brother's this weekend. He is busy trying to get a house on Brewer Street ready for SIL's mom and stepdad. They are pulling up the carpet. Don't ask me what they are going to replace it with but I do know they are removing the carpet. We don't have to be back in Tahlequah until 9:15 on Tuesday morning so we can return late on Monday night or as early as 9am on Tuesday morning, but I do not want to drive here starting around 5am. But I can do that.
Just nine more days until school starts. NINE MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I can stop fighting Naruto about his clothes. Doesn't he realize that Elmo has yet to get one NEW thing? This weekend is the taxfree weekend for school clothes. I can buy school clothes as early as 1201am and still go to brother's house on that day. I think I have a 2pm appointment but then I'll be out of Tahlequah. I need a break from here. I hope that Bro sends me a list of clothes that HorseLover and the Annoyer need so I can get them and take them with me.
What a day. It's not even 1pm. I've done nothing at all. I guess I need to get off my fat ass and get busy.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
How much longer until school starts?
I have never been to NYC. I probably will never go to NYC. Where is this place, Bear Maiden?
This one I do agree with. I'm a pretty good person except where DAD comes in. He's an asshole and deserves to...Well, I don't have to do anything. He has done it to himself.
This is true. If you have been through all the crap I've been through in my life with my disabilities...
We are moving around the start of next month. I'm going to rent the house next door to buy the owner and myself some time. It's a nice house and much bigger than the piece of crap we are now living in. It's going to be more than I currently pay but I won't have ants crawling in the house through a hole in the window eaves. They have fans in almost every room but there are three places where I'd want to get fans to help keep the place cool. IT EVEN HAS CENTRAL HEAT AND AIR!!!!!!!!! It's getting hot and muggy. I broke down and turned on the ac units last night. The one in the house isn't working. It blows air, but that is it. I guess I need to call that woman to get it taken care of. Oh, well. But I'm excited. I'm tired of dealing with that woman who owns most of this town. Time to start packing so I can move in a hair over a month.
I sent the paperwork to the SSA which I thought they wanted yesterday. But I found a piece of paper that states any more docs and hospitals that I've been in. Well, I printed that off and sent it in with the wrong paperwork. Oh, well. They can kiss my lovely Indian ass. I have gotten two months into the six months wait for a mental problem. I have enough unemployment to survive the four remaining months, but I should be able to get it faster. I can't help that I'm bipolar. But it explains some of my work habits very nicely. I really need to stay home. I have an entire house to pack up. I have a computer life to deal with. Ok, so this is my life.
Next week on Cartoon Network, they are having a Scooby Doo marathon. Wouldn't you know that I don't have a DVD recorder? *sigh* It sucks being poor. Sucks raw eggs. Now if the SSA will just give me the damn money that they owe Naruto. I could easily start saving for a downpayment on the house to go with what I get from the Cherokee Nation. But it still might be cheaper to have my brother take out the loan which I then pay off. After it's done, do a quick claim deed for "$10 and all my love and affection" type thing that is common in Arkansas for parents selling their houses to their adult kids.
What part of "I'm bipolar and I can't work" does my SIL not understand. She seems to think that CPS is demanding that I have to get a job. She is bipolar. She honestly can't work. Yes, I can get a job. No, I can't keep it. Something/someone will set me off and I'd either be fired or I'd have to quit. It is a cycle. I would like a job where I can stay home and play on the computer all day, accomplishing nothing. Unfortunately, there is no such job like that out there. CPS and I have discussed how this family is going to exist without my paycheck so there is not that demand out there. One of these days, she will get it.
We have to get up bright and early tomorrow morning. We need to be at Walmart bright and early in the morning to get boxes. I think that I can start with the books in the bookshelves and then go from there. I can put the boxes in the spare bedroom until I can get them over next door. Then box up the food storage, keeping some of the food out. Some, I do not need, like all of the excess flour I have. That is going to be so much fun. Then all the stuff in the wardrobe...we haven't used it in the year that we've been here. It has to be nailed before it's moved. I need to get three or more sets of shelves like I have my food storage sitting on. The new house has a garage where I can store stuff. Then I can quit paying for the storage shed. But I need Naruto's money to get the shelves that we need for the garage storage. I would like to do something like BF has in her garage. Everything is so neat and clean, organized. Why can't I be organized like BF?
Ten days until school starts. I am ready. I need to call the district tomorrow to see if Naruto has his JOM paperwork on file. I need to know what JOM isn't going to provide so I can but the problem is that Naruto is in a self-contained classroom, not the normal regular classroom. Maybe I need to just contact his teacher.
Breakfast time. Biscuits are done. I'm running as late as ever. This computer will make me late to my own funeral. Oh, well. Life goes on.
| You Belong in the East Village |
 A little bit arty, a little bit punk - you seem to set trends that many people follow. It's likely that you're an academic of sorts, even if it's just on the weekends. |
This one I do agree with. I'm a pretty good person except where DAD comes in. He's an asshole and deserves to...Well, I don't have to do anything. He has done it to himself.
| You Are 18% Evil |
 You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want! |
This is true. If you have been through all the crap I've been through in my life with my disabilities...
| You Are 48% Control Freak |
 Generally, you are in control but not a control freak. You life is usually in order. However, sometimes you get too obsessed with making everything in your life picture perfect. |
We are moving around the start of next month. I'm going to rent the house next door to buy the owner and myself some time. It's a nice house and much bigger than the piece of crap we are now living in. It's going to be more than I currently pay but I won't have ants crawling in the house through a hole in the window eaves. They have fans in almost every room but there are three places where I'd want to get fans to help keep the place cool. IT EVEN HAS CENTRAL HEAT AND AIR!!!!!!!!! It's getting hot and muggy. I broke down and turned on the ac units last night. The one in the house isn't working. It blows air, but that is it. I guess I need to call that woman to get it taken care of. Oh, well. But I'm excited. I'm tired of dealing with that woman who owns most of this town. Time to start packing so I can move in a hair over a month.
I sent the paperwork to the SSA which I thought they wanted yesterday. But I found a piece of paper that states any more docs and hospitals that I've been in. Well, I printed that off and sent it in with the wrong paperwork. Oh, well. They can kiss my lovely Indian ass. I have gotten two months into the six months wait for a mental problem. I have enough unemployment to survive the four remaining months, but I should be able to get it faster. I can't help that I'm bipolar. But it explains some of my work habits very nicely. I really need to stay home. I have an entire house to pack up. I have a computer life to deal with. Ok, so this is my life.
Next week on Cartoon Network, they are having a Scooby Doo marathon. Wouldn't you know that I don't have a DVD recorder? *sigh* It sucks being poor. Sucks raw eggs. Now if the SSA will just give me the damn money that they owe Naruto. I could easily start saving for a downpayment on the house to go with what I get from the Cherokee Nation. But it still might be cheaper to have my brother take out the loan which I then pay off. After it's done, do a quick claim deed for "$10 and all my love and affection" type thing that is common in Arkansas for parents selling their houses to their adult kids.
What part of "I'm bipolar and I can't work" does my SIL not understand. She seems to think that CPS is demanding that I have to get a job. She is bipolar. She honestly can't work. Yes, I can get a job. No, I can't keep it. Something/someone will set me off and I'd either be fired or I'd have to quit. It is a cycle. I would like a job where I can stay home and play on the computer all day, accomplishing nothing. Unfortunately, there is no such job like that out there. CPS and I have discussed how this family is going to exist without my paycheck so there is not that demand out there. One of these days, she will get it.
We have to get up bright and early tomorrow morning. We need to be at Walmart bright and early in the morning to get boxes. I think that I can start with the books in the bookshelves and then go from there. I can put the boxes in the spare bedroom until I can get them over next door. Then box up the food storage, keeping some of the food out. Some, I do not need, like all of the excess flour I have. That is going to be so much fun. Then all the stuff in the wardrobe...we haven't used it in the year that we've been here. It has to be nailed before it's moved. I need to get three or more sets of shelves like I have my food storage sitting on. The new house has a garage where I can store stuff. Then I can quit paying for the storage shed. But I need Naruto's money to get the shelves that we need for the garage storage. I would like to do something like BF has in her garage. Everything is so neat and clean, organized. Why can't I be organized like BF?
Ten days until school starts. I am ready. I need to call the district tomorrow to see if Naruto has his JOM paperwork on file. I need to know what JOM isn't going to provide so I can but the problem is that Naruto is in a self-contained classroom, not the normal regular classroom. Maybe I need to just contact his teacher.
Breakfast time. Biscuits are done. I'm running as late as ever. This computer will make me late to my own funeral. Oh, well. Life goes on.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Quick update
I called CPS and talked to her. I told her what had happened last night when CHUBS was here. The woman through a hissy fit over FOUR cheerios. I feel better now that I've talked to CPS. CPS said that CHUBS was going to be coming tonight. I know that. We are going to sit outside on the porch and have the damn visit. CPS said that she's going to have CHUBS close out the case. It's too much on both of us.
CHUBS is not the parent of handicapped kids. She'd honestly understand more the frustration I feel around Naruto and Elmo if she did. She does not suffer from any one of the three handicaps I suffer from. I can help her emulate it so she would understand what happens, but it's not worth my time. She's never had to deal with autistic families or families with handicapped kids. She couldn't have. She's been doing this for a while. Why did I have to be the first? *rolls eyes*
CPS is the parent of an autistic son who is a year older than Elmo. She understands the frustration I feel in dealing with them. She knows what it's like dealing with kids who are mentally younger than their real ages. She doesn't understand what my disabilities are, but she understands my frustrations. She also knows that the kids are not in danger. I told her that I would call her if I was really out of control as opposed to just totally frustrated. She knows that I will.
The kids are gone today to daycare. They will be there tomorrow and be staying behind since I can't afford $15 for them to go to the pool. What costs so much that they have to charge parents $7.50 a kid to go to the pool? It's the end of the month for me. I have no money until August 3 when I get Elmo's child support check. I can't wait to get Naruto's big back pay check and get his on a regular basis. I need to put down calling the SSA so I can get this money and mess straightened out. Then we can be comfortable..and I can save some money as well.
Back to the house. If I don't get online tonight to discuss my thoughts/feelings/grumps, it is up.
CHUBS is not the parent of handicapped kids. She'd honestly understand more the frustration I feel around Naruto and Elmo if she did. She does not suffer from any one of the three handicaps I suffer from. I can help her emulate it so she would understand what happens, but it's not worth my time. She's never had to deal with autistic families or families with handicapped kids. She couldn't have. She's been doing this for a while. Why did I have to be the first? *rolls eyes*
CPS is the parent of an autistic son who is a year older than Elmo. She understands the frustration I feel in dealing with them. She knows what it's like dealing with kids who are mentally younger than their real ages. She doesn't understand what my disabilities are, but she understands my frustrations. She also knows that the kids are not in danger. I told her that I would call her if I was really out of control as opposed to just totally frustrated. She knows that I will.
The kids are gone today to daycare. They will be there tomorrow and be staying behind since I can't afford $15 for them to go to the pool. What costs so much that they have to charge parents $7.50 a kid to go to the pool? It's the end of the month for me. I have no money until August 3 when I get Elmo's child support check. I can't wait to get Naruto's big back pay check and get his on a regular basis. I need to put down calling the SSA so I can get this money and mess straightened out. Then we can be comfortable..and I can save some money as well.
Back to the house. If I don't get online tonight to discuss my thoughts/feelings/grumps, it is up.
That Damn Woman!!!!!!!!
Today was a trying day. Elmo and Naruto were home because we had (well, they had) their weekly appointments at Prodigy. We were only 15 min late but I almost didn't get there on time. Better late than never.
Then CHUBS came over. I was in a mood. Not a good one. Naruto decided that he could destroy the house during quiet time. There is no such thing as quiet time around my house. I needed a nap. Today took a toll out of me.
Then CHUBS came over. She pitched a hissy fit over FOUR Cheerios being in the entrance way. FOUR WHOLE CHEERIOS. She has to tell CPS I had food on the floor. Elmo was sitting there eating the cereal about 30 minutes before she got there. He's four. He is not a neat eater so he got some on the floor. The house looks horrible because the kids destroy it on a daily basis.
Never mind the fact that I was in a depressed mood. I couldn't find some of my things because Naruto was in my space. He better get over this "space problem" before I have to get nasty and ugly. I'm tired of him in my room. I'm tired of him messing with crap he has no business messing with.
I sent the kids outside in the backyard to play. Naruto decided that he wanted to play in the front yard. So, he climbed over the fence and got two huge gashes on his back. He doesn't like the backyard. He's allergic to anything out there. He likes the front yard. No fence around the front yard. So, he climbs over the fence on a regular basis. Today, it was only four times before I made him come inside, which is really what he wanted. But mama turned off Cartoon Network. No one can watch anything until I get ready to turn it back on.
If he could do Cartoon Network in a moderate level, I could live with that. But it's all the time. I hate Ed, Edd, and Eddy with their scams. What are they teaching Naruto? Camp Lazlo is the same. You can do whatever you want to do and bend the rules to do it. It doesn't matter. I really want to break the tv set for a while. If I had a landline, then maybe I could switch to a DSL connection instead of cable net. I do enjoy Cartoons myself but I'm able to distinguish what is good from what is the absolute rubbish. I'm grown. He's seven.
But that woman backed me in the corner. She's going to tell CPS about four cheerios on the floor. I told her to go ahead. I don't give a damn anymore. I WANT THESE IDIOTS OUT OF MY HOUSE. I WANT THEM OUT OF MY LIFE. EVERYONE OF THEM. If you have handicapped kids, you know the pressure I'm under. I don't know how SewPaula does it with the Divine Em. But the problem is that unless you have lived with autistic kids or are autistic yourself, you know squat about my life and my house. I yelled at her for some time. You back a dog in a corner and torture him, he's going to come out fighting. He's going to do whatever it takes to get the torturer to back off of him and leave him alone. I'm not going to let her in the house. She has to come but we can meet at other places. McD, BK, the park...it doesn't matter. The boys would love to go to McD or BK for a pop and the other kids to play with. Tomorrow night, she has to come over. We can easily sit outside on the steps. The boys can be outside just as easily as we are. They can play in the front yard, which Aharon is not allergic to. When she's gone, we'll be better. How much longer until Sept? We should be free of CPS and CHUBS. I don't trust her anymore. She lost all respect I had for her. Pure and simple. She knows what she's doing, I'll admit, but she knows NOTHING about autism and all the problems associated with it. Nor does she know the problems (and hasn't been there) that I as a simple handicapped parent with two handicapped kids go through. Yes, they can go to daycare, but not when they are going to be there 2 hours. Not worth my time and gas money.
Gas is finally going back down. It's less than $2.80 here in places. I don't know how people do it with cars and gas payments. The woman three houses down doesn't have a car. Others take her to Walmart or she rides the KATS bus. Easy for her. I have to pay $6 for us to go to Walmart and back. They don't do a monthly plan. I would be glad to use that myself. Three bus passes for a month's driving would be more than worth it. But unfortunately, they don't do passes here. *rolls eyes*
CPS suggested a boarding school for Auties in Tulsa. Sorry, I do not think that I'll send Naruto. He'd be around auties 168 hours a week and none around normal kids. I need to get with the Podiatrist to see what she thinks, but I can almost hear her answer now. This would be like being back in foster care for Naruto, even though he'd be home on the weekends. He's only SEVEN. No, he has a good teacher and I think a lot of her. But Naruto can't play soccer or ball if he's not at any of the practices. Forget Cub Scouts. They might be the best for autistic kids, but not the best for my son. Naruto has his problems, but so does any other kids. He's just got more problems to overcome. But hiding him in an autie world will not make him a better person. It just shields him from the real world where Pokemon and super powers do not exist.
I have missed two nights of exercise because of shit. Last night, a normal 15 minute wait at Walmart was more like 45. The first appointment of the day was fine. The second one, the endo trip, was horrible. I drove around the same three block radius for 20 minutes trying to locate ONE building. So, I was late. Then they wanted to have an ultrasound done at 2. It would have been paid for by insurance but I needed it done then, not at 2. I had to get Naruto for his doc's appointment. We finally get to the doc's office at 1545 for a 1340 appointment. They have no paperwork. I'm being pushed/bullied by doctors. I do not know which way to turn anymore. We left it was after 1700. Then to go to Walmart. We got home around 1815. CHUBS was supposed to meet me at the gym at 1730. I got a nasty note and we missed a visit. I rarely miss her visits so it had to be something. Mark this up to another reason I can't deal with her. My phone had a dead battery. Sorry, CHUBS, but I'm trying to avoid using a car charger. It puts too much stress on the battery. I can't afford a new battery. I do have the car charger but still..
I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of people telling me what to do and how to clean my house. My support system is on vacation or not able to be reached. I'm frustrated with Naruto and somewhat with Elmo. I can't wait to get some meds because this is hell on me. Doesn't anyone know that? Maybe tomorrow will be better, but the past two days sure haven't.
Then CHUBS came over. I was in a mood. Not a good one. Naruto decided that he could destroy the house during quiet time. There is no such thing as quiet time around my house. I needed a nap. Today took a toll out of me.
Then CHUBS came over. She pitched a hissy fit over FOUR Cheerios being in the entrance way. FOUR WHOLE CHEERIOS. She has to tell CPS I had food on the floor. Elmo was sitting there eating the cereal about 30 minutes before she got there. He's four. He is not a neat eater so he got some on the floor. The house looks horrible because the kids destroy it on a daily basis.
Never mind the fact that I was in a depressed mood. I couldn't find some of my things because Naruto was in my space. He better get over this "space problem" before I have to get nasty and ugly. I'm tired of him in my room. I'm tired of him messing with crap he has no business messing with.
I sent the kids outside in the backyard to play. Naruto decided that he wanted to play in the front yard. So, he climbed over the fence and got two huge gashes on his back. He doesn't like the backyard. He's allergic to anything out there. He likes the front yard. No fence around the front yard. So, he climbs over the fence on a regular basis. Today, it was only four times before I made him come inside, which is really what he wanted. But mama turned off Cartoon Network. No one can watch anything until I get ready to turn it back on.
If he could do Cartoon Network in a moderate level, I could live with that. But it's all the time. I hate Ed, Edd, and Eddy with their scams. What are they teaching Naruto? Camp Lazlo is the same. You can do whatever you want to do and bend the rules to do it. It doesn't matter. I really want to break the tv set for a while. If I had a landline, then maybe I could switch to a DSL connection instead of cable net. I do enjoy Cartoons myself but I'm able to distinguish what is good from what is the absolute rubbish. I'm grown. He's seven.
But that woman backed me in the corner. She's going to tell CPS about four cheerios on the floor. I told her to go ahead. I don't give a damn anymore. I WANT THESE IDIOTS OUT OF MY HOUSE. I WANT THEM OUT OF MY LIFE. EVERYONE OF THEM. If you have handicapped kids, you know the pressure I'm under. I don't know how SewPaula does it with the Divine Em. But the problem is that unless you have lived with autistic kids or are autistic yourself, you know squat about my life and my house. I yelled at her for some time. You back a dog in a corner and torture him, he's going to come out fighting. He's going to do whatever it takes to get the torturer to back off of him and leave him alone. I'm not going to let her in the house. She has to come but we can meet at other places. McD, BK, the park...it doesn't matter. The boys would love to go to McD or BK for a pop and the other kids to play with. Tomorrow night, she has to come over. We can easily sit outside on the steps. The boys can be outside just as easily as we are. They can play in the front yard, which Aharon is not allergic to. When she's gone, we'll be better. How much longer until Sept? We should be free of CPS and CHUBS. I don't trust her anymore. She lost all respect I had for her. Pure and simple. She knows what she's doing, I'll admit, but she knows NOTHING about autism and all the problems associated with it. Nor does she know the problems (and hasn't been there) that I as a simple handicapped parent with two handicapped kids go through. Yes, they can go to daycare, but not when they are going to be there 2 hours. Not worth my time and gas money.
Gas is finally going back down. It's less than $2.80 here in places. I don't know how people do it with cars and gas payments. The woman three houses down doesn't have a car. Others take her to Walmart or she rides the KATS bus. Easy for her. I have to pay $6 for us to go to Walmart and back. They don't do a monthly plan. I would be glad to use that myself. Three bus passes for a month's driving would be more than worth it. But unfortunately, they don't do passes here. *rolls eyes*
CPS suggested a boarding school for Auties in Tulsa. Sorry, I do not think that I'll send Naruto. He'd be around auties 168 hours a week and none around normal kids. I need to get with the Podiatrist to see what she thinks, but I can almost hear her answer now. This would be like being back in foster care for Naruto, even though he'd be home on the weekends. He's only SEVEN. No, he has a good teacher and I think a lot of her. But Naruto can't play soccer or ball if he's not at any of the practices. Forget Cub Scouts. They might be the best for autistic kids, but not the best for my son. Naruto has his problems, but so does any other kids. He's just got more problems to overcome. But hiding him in an autie world will not make him a better person. It just shields him from the real world where Pokemon and super powers do not exist.
I have missed two nights of exercise because of shit. Last night, a normal 15 minute wait at Walmart was more like 45. The first appointment of the day was fine. The second one, the endo trip, was horrible. I drove around the same three block radius for 20 minutes trying to locate ONE building. So, I was late. Then they wanted to have an ultrasound done at 2. It would have been paid for by insurance but I needed it done then, not at 2. I had to get Naruto for his doc's appointment. We finally get to the doc's office at 1545 for a 1340 appointment. They have no paperwork. I'm being pushed/bullied by doctors. I do not know which way to turn anymore. We left it was after 1700. Then to go to Walmart. We got home around 1815. CHUBS was supposed to meet me at the gym at 1730. I got a nasty note and we missed a visit. I rarely miss her visits so it had to be something. Mark this up to another reason I can't deal with her. My phone had a dead battery. Sorry, CHUBS, but I'm trying to avoid using a car charger. It puts too much stress on the battery. I can't afford a new battery. I do have the car charger but still..
I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of people telling me what to do and how to clean my house. My support system is on vacation or not able to be reached. I'm frustrated with Naruto and somewhat with Elmo. I can't wait to get some meds because this is hell on me. Doesn't anyone know that? Maybe tomorrow will be better, but the past two days sure haven't.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
What a day!
I'm ticked off. I paid off a bill last month, and wouldn't you know that they sent me a bill? I'm three months behind when I paid it off last month. I called and gave them all the information that they needed so I could be square with them. Just another place to call tomorrow.
I'm going to start collecting my unemployment starting tomorrow. It is my "waiting" period so I can officially start drawing it next week. I have enough unemployment that we can survive until the middle of January/first of February. I really do not think that I'll be waiting that long for my SSI to start, but this is the Federal government. They still are sitting on my $7k in back child support over a measley $850ish that Naruto owes them. When is it going to come in? That is another place to call tomorrow...SSA and gripe out the supervisor so that the check gets unchecked or the check gets put into the proper place. It's a simple thing but the Muskogee office can't deal with it. It has to go higher.
It only took Naruto six times (getting out of bed) before he went to bed. If that dream catcher works, then it's worth every penny that I paid for it today. Granted, I have to remember to "shake it out and put the trashbag by the road" before I go and get him. But if it works, it works. He still won't get his 20 Naruto/Pokemon/YuGiOh cards in the morning. He's not supposed to get out at all.
School here starts in three weeks. I'm so ready. I called Greenwood today to doublecheck if Naruto has his JOM paperwork filled out so that I don't have to buy anything but a backpack for him. I wish I knew what he was going to need that JOM didn't normally have around. He's got enough clothes to start school in. I think he's got four new long sleeve shirts for the colder weather. He's got some old ones that are still in good shape. It's Elmo who doesn't have jeans. I don't know if he needs size 3T or 4T. Then again, I need to see what his RichAunt has given me for him. I swear RichAunt blows more money on clothes than I will get on MY disability in a month.
I started looking for a house today. Talked to someone at the BigRealEstate place here in Tahlequah. Wouldn't you know that the houses I can barely afford have less than 1k square feet? We have a small house...bigger than the two that were between $30.5k and $60k. I would love to buy the one next door to me. Imagine that hard move. It's big. It's in wonderful shape with the exception of the front window, but they are willing to replace that when it sells. I could move in immediately only for the small price tag of $65K. It's definately bigger than these few I saw. One set of houses I saw the listing for had two bed/one bath and was $2.5k less than a 3bed/one bath home. Sorry but that third bed is worth the $2.5k difference in price. Problem, as far as I'm concerned, is that it's Cherokee Elementary school and not Greenwood. Greenwood, no matter what, is the LRE for Naruto and later Elmo. His teacher is wonderful and we have a good relationship. Naruto likes her. That counts for a lot. Because it's the LRE, the bus will carry him there. Thank goodness for IDEA and all those wonderful bits of educational law for the disabled. If the boys go to Cherokee Elem, they would either be mainstreamed (cause all the MR kids have been taken out of their classroom and mainstreamed) or they would be placed in the ED classroom since they are ED. Bus routes wouldn't matter either because they would ride the handicapped bus. They have to go to ALL the schools.
Tomorrow, I guess I better start calling everyone. I need to write down whom I need to call including a former boss who is a complete jerkoffski. Maybe he can tell me about FmHA loans which would help us make the payment on the house. I just do not want him to know where I am or that it's me calling. I left his name and number with the real estate person so she can call as well.
I'm going to start collecting my unemployment starting tomorrow. It is my "waiting" period so I can officially start drawing it next week. I have enough unemployment that we can survive until the middle of January/first of February. I really do not think that I'll be waiting that long for my SSI to start, but this is the Federal government. They still are sitting on my $7k in back child support over a measley $850ish that Naruto owes them. When is it going to come in? That is another place to call tomorrow...SSA and gripe out the supervisor so that the check gets unchecked or the check gets put into the proper place. It's a simple thing but the Muskogee office can't deal with it. It has to go higher.
It only took Naruto six times (getting out of bed) before he went to bed. If that dream catcher works, then it's worth every penny that I paid for it today. Granted, I have to remember to "shake it out and put the trashbag by the road" before I go and get him. But if it works, it works. He still won't get his 20 Naruto/Pokemon/YuGiOh cards in the morning. He's not supposed to get out at all.
School here starts in three weeks. I'm so ready. I called Greenwood today to doublecheck if Naruto has his JOM paperwork filled out so that I don't have to buy anything but a backpack for him. I wish I knew what he was going to need that JOM didn't normally have around. He's got enough clothes to start school in. I think he's got four new long sleeve shirts for the colder weather. He's got some old ones that are still in good shape. It's Elmo who doesn't have jeans. I don't know if he needs size 3T or 4T. Then again, I need to see what his RichAunt has given me for him. I swear RichAunt blows more money on clothes than I will get on MY disability in a month.
I started looking for a house today. Talked to someone at the BigRealEstate place here in Tahlequah. Wouldn't you know that the houses I can barely afford have less than 1k square feet? We have a small house...bigger than the two that were between $30.5k and $60k. I would love to buy the one next door to me. Imagine that hard move. It's big. It's in wonderful shape with the exception of the front window, but they are willing to replace that when it sells. I could move in immediately only for the small price tag of $65K. It's definately bigger than these few I saw. One set of houses I saw the listing for had two bed/one bath and was $2.5k less than a 3bed/one bath home. Sorry but that third bed is worth the $2.5k difference in price. Problem, as far as I'm concerned, is that it's Cherokee Elementary school and not Greenwood. Greenwood, no matter what, is the LRE for Naruto and later Elmo. His teacher is wonderful and we have a good relationship. Naruto likes her. That counts for a lot. Because it's the LRE, the bus will carry him there. Thank goodness for IDEA and all those wonderful bits of educational law for the disabled. If the boys go to Cherokee Elem, they would either be mainstreamed (cause all the MR kids have been taken out of their classroom and mainstreamed) or they would be placed in the ED classroom since they are ED. Bus routes wouldn't matter either because they would ride the handicapped bus. They have to go to ALL the schools.
Tomorrow, I guess I better start calling everyone. I need to write down whom I need to call including a former boss who is a complete jerkoffski. Maybe he can tell me about FmHA loans which would help us make the payment on the house. I just do not want him to know where I am or that it's me calling. I left his name and number with the real estate person so she can call as well.
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